I’m not always the best at expressing myself to you, so I’m taking advantage of the fact that I will be completely unresponsive when you read this, and therefore incapable of messing things up.
I want to thank you for giving me a chance. When I first saw you, I knew I had found something incredible. And since then all I’ve wanted was to be with you as much as possible.
When I thought I had lost you, I was torn between wanting you back and wanting the best for you—wanting you to be happy. Seeing you so miserable during the weeks we were apart gave me the courage to fight for us . . . to find a way for things to work. And seeing you happy again in the days we’ve been back together makes me think I did the right thing.
I can’t promise you an ordinary experience, Kate. I wish I could transform myself into a normal man and be there for you, always, without the trauma that defines my life as “the walking dead.” Since that isn’t possible, I can only reassure you that I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. To give you more than a normal boyfriend could. I have no idea what that will mean, exactly, but I’m looking forward to finding out. With you.
Thank you for being here, my beauty. Mon ange. My Kate.
― Amy Plum, Die for Me