Quick Quick Slow

We live in a time, where our lives are spent rushing pasts us without us feeling the rush… We are rushed by our parents and society to grow up, we are rushed by teachers to get an education since we are 4 until we turn 18, than we jump in the “I-don’t-know-what-I-want” mill, and pick anything that seems familiar. We spend another 4 years or so wasting more time.

From my experience, no education is more precious, more memorized than the one you seek. A true learner follows what he wants to learn. A lost soul just goes along unsure what they are learning and what for.

But as education is not the point I want to discus, I will jump right in my point. Our world might be fast, filled with rush, technology, quick contact lists, social media, smart phones and so on. But when it comes to the truthful solid aspects of a human’s life, our world is in no rush. I think that’s why people feel their time passes quickly in this hourglass that trickles the sand quickly from present to future.

I know we all have such stories in every family, about these old grandparents, or ancient aunts and uncles who just met and married right of.

In our “take-your-time-it’s-one-life” attitude we lost the meaning of “meant-to-be”, of romance, of marriage until “we-are-gray-and-old” sort of way.

We live meaninglessly. A guy wants to be with a girl for 5 to 8 years until he knows she is the one. He needs ALL this time to study and analysis her to make sure she deserves his name!

Men, self-help-books and media say “women are needy”, “women are scaring men”, “women are from a different planet”.

Let me give you this, I am not needy, I don’t care to scare weak men, and I am sure as hell not from a different planet. But maybe, just maybe, I might be from an era where real, independent men knew that this woman was their match!

If you want to say I am needy because I know how I feel, than be my guest. If you want to say I chase men because I inquire what is next on the agenda than it’s your own problem, if you want to say I am from a different planet because I am honest with myself and you, open with my feelings, emotional and true, than you are right! I was made in heaven after all! My line is just like yours. We might think differently [thankfully] but we are not from different species! Is it so hard to get along?! Are men so blind, so selfish they can’t share their world with us?!

In any case, I want to stir back to my main story and it’s about those two amazing couples I know. Yes, I met them. The family legends. My two grandpas and grandmas.

My father’s parents met in Palestine. It was before occupation I presume. He saw her at a wedding, and back then, men and woman didn’t socialize. He saw her by mistake. And it was love at first sight. He proposed to her father and that’s that. He didn’t study her, he didn’t analyze her, no, he believed she is the one. They had 7 children, only one died before them, they lived fully, had a grand house, grandchildren, marriages and problems, happiness and sadness, illness and health, a life time together until a few years ago my grandma died. My grandfather still visits her grave. Whenever she is mentioned he would smile than his eyes would water. If this isn’t romance, I don’t know what romance is.

My mother’s parents had a huge age gap between them. Back in the day that was normal, now people will consider it a scandal or sexual harassment. Have you ever watched the movie “An Education”, their meeting is close to that. My grandpa [the most handsome man I ever saw] was a contractor and a boxer. He was about 26 if I remember correctly, but wasn’t interested in women until he set eyes on a voluptuous girl in school uniform around noon.

My grandma was 16 going back from school in a bus, she saw grandpa looking at her and she and her girlfriends had a good laugh, so she waved at him and I guess that’s all it took. My grandpa followed her home, came the next day and proposed marriage.

They had their ups and downs, with their tempers and strong personalities but there was love and happiness and well, 7 children and plenty of grandchildren. When I was a kid, grandpa died leaving a hole in his absence.

Every day I pray I try to pray for both their souls. What are kin for after all?

This is a full life. A full life doesn’t mean happiness and no fights every day. It means when it all comes to an end, what do you really have? What have you achieved? Do you have someone to remember you when you are gone? Someone to think of you fondly and say “may he rest in peace”?

Why are we afraid to pick someone and have faith in them? Why does a guy spend years trying to be a man and man up to a girl he presumably is in love with?

They say money, that our life and time is expensive, that marriage is a responsibility, that it’s a hard decision, but is it? Is it so hard to commit? What is the worst case scenario? Divorce? I think this is a risk I would gladly take.

After all, what is life without taking risks? What is youth without love? What is a couple without sex? Where does love lead us at this time and age? I don’t want to be “cool” or “modern”, I want the real deal. I want a man to take a look at me, talk with me and know “I have found her!” No maybes and will-sees, I want a “definitely”. A decided firm absolute answer to all my silent prayers and questions.

Let’s stop this dance, that takes years to finish. I don’t want more, I want now. I don’t want games. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to see, talk and discuss.

I want the real deal. If I didn’t find it yet, it’s okay, I am sure I will. I prefer to wait for the real thing than wait for nothing at all.

Image

My grandparents, from the left: Sakanat & Mohammed Said Al-Basha. and Flovar & Taleb Younis.

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3 thoughts on “Quick Quick Slow

  1. Just stumble upon your blog through some random wordpress blogs – Your gran parents completely reminds me off my gran parents! They met when they were 16 (I think in 1930’s) – got married within a year and then spent magnificent years together till my gran’ dad passed away in 1990’s.

    I certainly agree with your point re love but at the same time, i firmly believe that romance hasn’t dead yet. I mean, i’m a guy, i dont tend to be with someone to actually see if they deserve my time? Cuz quiet frankly that would be me playing with emotions whether I agree or not.

    But coming back to the point, I don’t think the true love has died – for us hopeless romantics, there’s definitely something out there. You just have to catch it at the right moment i suppose. 🙂

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    • Now that’s romantic! 60 years of marriage! 🙂 I’m not sure about you men though, you might strike me as different, but men are truly not that straightforward with women when it comes to what they really want out of a relationship.. I hope that romance isn’t dead yet. My faith in it is starting to waver. Good of you to pass here and leave a comment 😀 Have a lovely day!!

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  2. Yeah 60 years of marriage! That is indeed magnificent! I can just hope that I get to be with someone for that long :D.

    And you’re kind of true about us men. We’re a different species. At times, even i’m one of the crazy ones. But at the same time, i think relationship nowadays tend to die early because of the difference between love vs lust. Frankly speaking, i don’t think the true love (the love that we’ve been hearing since our school days or even from our great gran’ parents) exist anymore. We merely mix the word lust with love and then try to call it love. I know so many friends who started off in a great relationship and then after some time they either fell out of love or just break things up (kind of ironic since how can you just fall out of love with someone? that doesn’t make sense if you know what I mean?).

    Also, i think the media has propogated our minds with the false ideology of love – we tend to leave the love part to the physical form where in essence, i believe its something that starts off physically but it always grow emotionally to a stage where its impossible to fall out of love with anyone.

    Coming back to the rambling point, i certainly hope romance isn’t dead as of yet as being the opposite gender, i have to some faith in it to meet that someone. Oh btw, i hope you’re having a great sunday. I’m having a laaazy sunday. 😀

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