“Seduction is at its finest when it’s nonchalant. You have to make him believe that you just are that way. So when you think, ‘I’m going to try some garter belts on for him, and I think he’ll like this color,’ you’ve missed the whole point. But if you’re indulging in things that make you feel good about yourself, and that are also beautiful and luxurious and fit you well–things that you would wear every day whether or not someone’s looking–that’s when it becomes natural and effortless. And that’s when you really get him where it hurts.”
― Dita Von Teese
My girlfriends and every woman I meet always ask me the same question ‘Why are you always dressed up?’ I smile and say honestly ‘It just feels good.’ The truth is, dressing up for yourself doesn’t just become a habit, nowadays I hate going out of the house not looking my best or at the very least representable.
It was Coco Chanel, an elegant lady who said one of my favorite quotes, that I always repeat to myself when I feel too tired to look my best or put an effort.
“I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little – if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny. And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”
― Coco Chanel
I think it comes from an early age, that urge. I always enjoyed looking at my mother getting ready to go out when I was a kid, the way she picks her outfit and tries many, the care she puts in her makeup, the music blasting softly when she splashes perfume. I just knew that I couldn’t wait to be a grownup to play this game. Now it became my ritual.
I always say ‘if it were to me, I would wear dresses all year round.’ That’s why I decided to make it a habit, to actually wear what I enjoy, not what people expect, and in that way I began to have my own style at a very early age. I remember my first lipstick lesson from my mother, my first perfume a gift from papa, Beautiful from Estée Lauder.
My journey through style has changed and evolved so much over the years, but somehow stayed the same in a way. I guess that’s what it means to have a defiant sense of style.
Now, when a girlfriend asks me how come I always seem so sexy and effortless, I remember Dita Von Teese’s quote which I added in the beginning of this post, you see, seduction doesn’t start with seducing a man. It starts in the mind of a woman. It’s in the way she thinks, talks, acts, dresses, laughs and interact with the world around her. Men will fall always for a woman who has a sense of style.
The most profound seduction comes effortlessly to some women, while other women make it seem like work. My advice is: stick to what you find appealing and sexy, stick to your truth and you will surely attract the right type for you. Don’t imitate, don’t try too hard, just be yourself. Yourself is the sexiest seducer there is.