Learning from Children

Sometimes, I envy children, they can laugh, cry, shout, fight without others judging them, they are tended to, cared for, spoiled rotten without people thinking it’s strange, to humans, it’s the way it should be; but not for grownups.

If you cry and ask for affection: you are labeled needy and insecure.

If you seek the attention of the people you love: you are an attention-seeker and a show-off.

If you laugh too loud: you are rude and you can even be labeled a “ho”.

If you fight with someone: you are not forgiven and misunderstood.

That’s only part of it… sometimes when I’m sick, lonely or bored, I wish someone could talk to me, or read to me till I fall asleep just like I used to when I was a kid.

Now, being independent and self-sufficient, I read myself to sleep or listen to an audiobook with a stranger’s voice, I talk with myself to solve my personal issues that I can’t share with anyone, and I try to pull it together ALL the time, or else I’ll be branded a “drama queen” or worst “she melts down under any pressure”. How did humans label our simple needs in such a harmful way? How come that the most natural of feelings seem wrong even a weakness when they’re purely felt?

I think grownup humans could learn a thing or two from children. Their sympathetic fun nature, their joy, their honesty, their clear needs and giving affections. I seriously don’t understand what happened to make children grow into an unfeeling group of adults, who are ashamed and insecure to state how they really feel, without sarcasm, without prejudice, without hiding behind words they don’t mean and actions that are deceitful or simply untrue.

What does it take to be kind? To be fun? To be forgiving? To be human? To be truly unapologetically you?

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3 thoughts on “Learning from Children

  1. I so agree with this Dana. I can’t help but ask the same questions as you have regarding myself. I have thought of this for some time actually and each time, I come to the same conclusion. As we grow, we seem to gradually lose that “child-like” innocence that we once had in order to fit into the “norms” of society, whatever they may be. Perhaps deep within each of us, we all want to be liked and respected by others and we feel that the only way that we can do that is by going along with what everyone else is doing. We don’t want to be branded as being “weird” or “strange” or “out of place” or even just different. It’s like we seek that often “silent” approval from our peers or our parents or our co-workers just so we can feel good about ourselves. But you know Dana, over the past year or two I guess, I have subtly been “rebelling” against such norms. I want to be my own person and regain that child-like innocence that I once had. I still do child-like things from time to time such as watch cartoons or wear bright colors on occasion (nowadays I mostly wear black or gray). I used to wear colorful clothes all the time that my mother would buy for me and would be the happiest kid in the world. But now as an adult, I buy my own and I don’t wear the bright colors I used to. And I’m trying really hard not to lose my smile.
    And on top of all this, the biggest thing I’m trying to do is have fun. I used to play games all the time as a child with my brother. Now all I do is work, study, focus on getting the next chore done, getting through the day…. no fun or games. But I’m trying to regain all that back.
    I think you’re right Dana. We as adults can learn a lot from children. I sometimes watch them out of the corner of my eyes when I am working the children’s dept. at the library and it takes me back to when I was their age, when I was dependent on everyone, not really having a care in the world. Now mostly being independent, I’ve “pushed” that innocence out. I have all kinds of concerns and worries.
    What does it take to truly be who we are? I think, at least for me, is to have more fun. To smile more and to play games. It sounds child-like, but that’s the point right?
    Good topic Dana. I miss your writing. 🙂

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    • I’m always labeled as “weird” at first it made me feel so bad, but as I grew older I discovered that I prefer being “weird and strange” to “dull and boring” at any day. I’m so enthusiastic and awed easily for a grownup I guess, I prefer to embrace the silliness and giddiness of situations, I always wear colors, they left my spirits. Mike go for colors! Wear them and surround yourself with them! Colors are half the fun! They make me so happy 😀

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      • You know something Dana? I have been wearing more colors since this year began and I have to say that I do feel much happier, about myself and about a lot of things I thought I wouldn’t feel happy about again. In my 20s, I went through some really difficult and challenging vicissitudes of life and in some weird way, I sort of embraced the whole “black and gray” scale in my attire, not even aware of when or how it happened. But I am wanting to start living life again as I had when I was little and wearing more brighter colors is helping me do that. They truly do uplift me! Color is beautiful. And since we can see it, we should experience it too. Thanks. 🙂

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